Emotional dependence is what happens when we base our emotional well-being on that of another person, most commonly an intimate partner. You might find yourself feeling as though your partner is a missing piece and you need him or her to feel happy, whole, worthy, and secure. Your partner’s absence is often felt by feelings of loneliness and depression. Being emotionally dependent can lead to codependence as you strive to please your partner for fear of abandonment and being alone, and in turn your partner can be impacted as well. There are many factors that could be causing you to feel emotionally dependent, like attachment issues, past trauma, low sense of self-worth, or dysfunctional beliefs. In therapy, we work through the underlying causes that make you feel like you need to rely on others for happiness and validation- and in the process establish how you want to begin showing up for you and loving yourself. It is important to note that there are cases in which individuals might become emotionally dependent on their partner through manipulation. While there could be underlying issues from your past, if your partner is manipulative (e.g. someone with narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder), they can manipulate you into thinking you need him or her. This maladaptive behavior is reinforced through manipulative tactics such as lovebombing (excessive expression of affection, promises of commitment, isolation from loved ones) and devaluation (criticizing, degrading, stonewalling, withdrawing affection). It is important to understand that these are forms of abuse.